Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Im part way to drunk.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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