I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
