I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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