the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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