Welp...herpes.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
