i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
