dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize