You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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