you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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