I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
