My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
