I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
