You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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