saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
