I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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