8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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