For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
