There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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