HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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