Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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