We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
