i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
