She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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