That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
