bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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