just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
