I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
