So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
