wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
