trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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