you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize