One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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