My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
