honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
