My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i came on her dog
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
