I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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