just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
