When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
