If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Randomize
