I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Randomize
