He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
