Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
