are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
