my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
