Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
