READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
