I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
