I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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