Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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