I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
