their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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