everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
