I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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