Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
accomplished twins. life is a go
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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