Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just invented taco cereal.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
