took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
