You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
