It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
