You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize