I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
