Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
